The hardest part about death is accepting its finality. The person you love is never coming back, ever. While their body may no longer be seen, touched, or heard, where does all the love go?
We all have a spiritual relationship of our own understanding. My children’s character Isaac, in my picture book, Isaac and the Red Jumper, personifies this struggle of acceptance. Isaac is confused and disorientated when his best friend Freddie suddenly dies. The magic jumpers they knitted together in their little shed feels empty without Freddie to share the experience with. Isaac feels sad and lonely. Isaac is grieving his loss. Eventually, Isaac stops wondering where Freddie has gone to when he remembers to connect with the happy memories of his best friend Freddie, and the joy of their friendship.
Love never dies.
Creating a touch stone of memory like a memory box, helps children to start making this transition.
You will need a small box for this exercise, the size of a large matchstick box. Obviously take the matches out before giving this to the child! I keep a collection of these in my practice so I always have them to hand. A couple of sheets of shiny paper, silver and gold, as this is going to be a precious box. Invite them to choose a sheet and then wrap up the box in the paper and seal is at both ends so that it is covered and secure. A fine point black pen and some paper. Invite the child to write their special message to their parent on the paper and then cut this out for them and ask them to stick this onto their box.
This is an empowering exercise to do as the child is literally formulating some of their feelings about their parent. Encourage them to keep this box with them and to hold it when they feel sad or lonely.
Isaac and the Red Jumper is a picture book about child bereavement recommended by the NSPCC. You can buy it here.
Join my private Facebook Group, Supporting Bereaved Children to Find Their Smile Again and receive a free ebook: How to Help Your Grieving Child: 10 Simple Play Therapy Techniques Every Parent Can Use To Help Their Child With Grief, Loss and Change.
